Revenge is a dish best served Ed
by Legacy of the Phoenix
Summary: Taking a break from scamming to do honest labor, the Eds actually manage to score both money and jawbreakers...until a certain bratty little girl and her girly-boy best friend wreck things for them. Ed Edd n Eddy created by Danny Antonucci.


Eddy, in his sunglasses, cleans a red car and buffs its tires to perfection. He then wipes the windshield until it is absolutely shiny.

"Hey, Jonny-boy!" Eddy notices Jonny walking.

"Hiya, Eddy! Nice job on the car!" Jonny waves to Eddy as he passes.

Eddy stands at the doorstep of the car's owner, where the silhouetted owner himself hands Eddy a wad of cash for his work.

Later that same day, Eddy does the exact same thing with a silver car. Rolf walks up to him,

"Hallo, Eddy! May we _now_ shop for meat in your fancy car?"

"Keep dreamin' a little longer, Rolfie-boy!" Eddy whistles out loud and approaches the home of the car's owner. As before, he gets a wad of cash from the silhouetted owner, but this time, it is a female.

A little after that, Eddy is cleaning the inside of a black car with a vacuum-cleaner and makes it so that it is absolutely spotless just like the outside. He sits up in the driver's seat and notices Kevin and Nazz walk up to the car. Very coolly, he rolls the window down,

"Hiya, Nazz!" He greets her; deliberately ignoring Kevin.

"Wow, Eddy! Awesome job!" She commends him.

"Hey, dorkky…" Kevin speaks up; annoyed that Eddy deliberately closed the window in his face, he bangs on it, "Whose car is this, ya twerp?!"

To rid himself of Kevin, and reluctantly Nazz, Eddy turns on the radio and ups the volume to full blast. The car wildly bounces up and down to the beat of the music.

"Ergh! Aggggghh! Not again!" Kevin and Nazz hold their respective ears in pain before they dash away.

Shortly after that, Eddy receives not a wad of cash, but a full jar of quarters, from the black car's silhouetted owner. Finished for the day, Eddy nods and departs.

* * *

The following morning, Edd does an effective paper route all over the neighborhood with a portable version of his machine from **Read all about Ed** as well as a recently acquired bicycle. Once he is finished and receives an envelope of money as payment, he returns home.

"Splendid." Entering the garage, Edd marvels at his own creation; a soda of his own invention via the use of makeshift liquids and various tubes. Once all of it is in a beaker, he proceeds to pour it into six unlabeled glass bottles and firmly place caps on each of them. He has just enough left over to put in an unlabeled, unused soda can before he closes the top with a small magnet. He places them all, including the can, in a box and departs his garage on his bicycle.

* * *

Eddy has finished cleaning a pickup truck and adding air to its massive tires. He receives payment from the silhouetted owner in the form of a small wad of cash.

"You kiddin' me?! After I put air in all yer stinkin'-Whoa!" Eddy is knocked down when the silhouetted man slams the door in his face. "Err!"

"Hi Eddy." Edd arrives with the box.

"'Sup, Double D." Eddy brushes himself off as he gets up.

"I take it your vehicle-cleansing ventures were successful?" Edd asks.

"They were yesterday." Eddy notices the box, "That the stuff?"

"Indeed. Ready for sale. And sampling." Edd opens the box and hands Eddy the can. "Do we have a target consumer?"

"Yep! Follow me!" Eddy excitedly dashes down the sidewalk.

"Careful, Eddy! That soda _cannot_ lose its fizz!" Edd follows on his bike.

* * *

"Oh, no! Don't go in there!" Ed is in his room watching a horror movie. The sound of screaming motivates Ed into dashing under his recliner chair and quivering. The recliner also quivers to the point where multiple cooked turkeys drop out.

SLASH! "AGGGGGGGH"! The sound of a woman screaming and a man laughing maniacally can be heard at the same time as the words _"The End?!"_ appear on the screen in red.

"Sequel! Ed must have sequel!" Ed jumps on top of the tv and shakes it aggressively. But then,

WHOMP! CRASH! Ed is suddenly hit with a big sack of jawbreakers and falls onto the floor with his tv in hand. "Hmm?"

He notices two jawbreakers roll out of the sack and exclaims in zany eye circled excitement, "Jawbreakers!"

"That's right, Lumpy!" Eddy emerges from Ed's window with a sack of his own. Edd struggles to get his through, so Eddy yanks him down and makes him bounce across Ed's room.

"AGH-YUMP!" Ed stuffs two jawbreakers in his mouth. He then stuffs a third, which ends up making his head shaped like a pyramid.

"Slow it down, Ed." Eddy stuffs in his own two, "There's plenty to last for a..."

WHOMP! Sarah bursts into Ed's room with Jimmy right behind her. She yells, "Will you idiots keep it…huh?"

Sarah and Jimmy notice Edd putting one jawbreaker in his mouth before they notice the other Eds' with some in addition to their respective sacks.

"Didn't I tell you Mom said no parties unless I'm invited?!" Sarah snatches Ed's sack of jawbreakers.

"Hey!" Eddy snatches the sack back. "These are _ours_! _We_ worked for 'em!"

WHACK! Sarah grabs Ed's chair and knocks Eddy across the room with it; the latter spits out his two jawbreakers as a result of his impact against the wall.

"Oh my." Edd tends to Eddy.

"Gimme these!" Sarah absconds with the three sacks of jawbreakers.

"Ooh, I love jawbreakers, Sarah!" Jimmy follows her.

"Errgh!" CRASH! Furious, Eddy dashes towards Sarah and Jimmy and tackles them both into Ed's bathtub of gravy! The jawbreakers consequently roll out of each and every sack until they cover much of Ed's bedroom floor.

"Ain't no way you takin' these from me, squirt!" Eddy wrestles with Sarah in the tub while Jimmy grabs onto Eddy's back to stop him.

"Wanna bet?!" Sarah wrestles Eddy deeper into the tub of gravy. She is helped by Jimmy.

"Worldwide Gravy Wrestling!" Ed starts to jump in.

"Ed no!" Edd grabs Ed to keep him from interfering.

"Ya messed up some of our scams! Ya make Ed look like a joke! And ya won't stop whinin' to yer Mommy! Well, that ain't happenin' _this_ episode!" Eddy manages to not only pin Jimmy against the edge of the tub with his foot, but also to hold Sarah's face down into the gravy despite her efforts to fight back.

"Errg-AAAGGH!" Desperate, Sarah grabs the end of the tub and turns it over before the gravy flies towards the two Eds!

"AGH! YUM!" Edd tackles Ed out of the way before the gravy could hit either of them. Both of them spit out their respective jawbreakers as well. But then,

SLOSH! The gravy ends up making a mess of Ed's bedroom, but even more tragically, the gravy covers each and every jawbreaker and causes them to melt down to nothing!

Noticing this, "NOOOOOOOOO!" A gravy-covered Eddy lets out a scream of anguish!

"Serves you right!" Sarah and Jimmy, despite also being covered in gravy, laugh heartily at Eddy's emotional defeat despite his physical victory. The two walk away to get rinsed off.

Ed picks up one of his chair turkeys and, with it now covered in gravy, takes a bite out of it. He exclaims happily, "Mmm. Gravy."

"Errrrrrrrrggggggggghhhh-AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!" Eddy bellows in fury. The one time he decides on honest money-making ventures and succeeds in getting jawbreakers, Sarah and Jimmy ruin it for him. There is no way he is going to let this go. He wants revenge.

"Eddy, I'm sure…"

"Ferget it, Sockhead! Those twerps are gonna get it!" Eddy clinches his fists.

As Ed watches, Eddy digs up Edd's lawn in search of something that could help with his vengeance.

"Good lord, man! What in heaven's name are you doing?!" A horrified, zany circle-eyed Edd tries to stop Eddy.

"Hold this!" Eddy hands Edd the shovel to stop him in his tracks. Eddy then yanks up the Eds' time capsule, opens it, and carelessly rummages through it in search of, "AH-HA!"

"The hypnotizing wheel?" Ed and Edd stare at the device that has both helped and harmed them all.

"Oh, yeah!" Eddy rubs it with a sinister, zany circle-eyed demeanor on his face. "This baby'll do just fine!"

* * *

Sarah and Jimmy are in the sandbox on **The Playground**. They notice Ed walk up to them as he eats another gravy-covered chair-turkey.

"Take a hike, Ed!" Sarah threatens.

"No can do, baby sister!" Ed states. "Mom says I have to get you because you have been bad!"

"What?!" Sarah clinches her fists.

"Yep! Ed told her that you spilled his gravy and now you're in trouble with a capital R!" Ed chuckles.

"You don't get to tell on me, nimrod!" Sarah angrily chases Ed.

"No, Sarah, don't!" Jimmy warns as he chases after her!

Ignoring him, Sarah relentlessly pursues Ed, "Get back here!"

"Beep! Beep!" CRASH! Ed runs right through Eddy's fence and jumps up in the air with his sister and Jimmy right behind him. They look up in the air before…

"Gotcha!" Eddy, somehow getting the hypnotizing wheel back on his old purple hat, slides his door open and spins the wheel; successfully acquiring the full attention of both Sarah and Jimmy. "Listen to the sound of my voice…"

* * *

Later that night in **The Junkyard** , Kevin, Jonny, Nazz, and Rolf pay 50 cents each to Edd as they sit on makeshift bleachers just a few feet away from a makeshift wrestling ring. They sit in between a bunch of silhouetted kids they seem to know. There are many more of them in the many bleachers surrounding the ring in the junkyard. In the ring, Ed is dressed like a referee as he chomps on yet another gravy-covered chair-turkey.

Eddy, dressed like a wrestling MC, pulls down a makeshift microphone, "WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO THE PEACH CREEK SMACKDOWN SUPREME! IN THE LEFT CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 145 POUNDS, FLUFFMUSCLE!"

Eddy points to a white-eyed Jimmy, whom is just as big and strong as he was in **Look into my Eds** , but is now wearing a light-blue wrestling outfit. He growls and flexes as the surrounding patrons either boo or cheer. Kevin and Jonny are among those who cheer.

"AND, IN THE RIGHT CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 148 POUNDS, GIVE IT UP FOR MAMMOTHMOUTH!" Eddy points to a white-eyed Sarah, whom is not only physically muscular, but also actually has a larger mouth than she did before and is wearing a pink lady-wrestler outfit. She opens a jar of flies and sets them free only to use her unnaturally long tongue to grab them all at once and consume them! She also receives a mixture of cheers and boos. Nazz expresses disgust at what Sarah did while Rolf remarks unimpressed,

"Wilfred consumes insects as easily as he inhales, yes?"

"NOW…GET IT ON!" Eddy strikes a makeshift bell once.

"RAGH! RAGH!" Jimmy and Sarah charge at each other and proceed to wrestle.

"GAGH!" Sarah wraps her tongue around Jimmy and slams him onto the ring!

Ed leaps down and hits the ring floor as he says, "One, two, buckle shoe! Thr-"

"YAGH!" Jimmy grabs Sarah by her tongue and pulls her down face first onto the ring floor, escaping her grip! He then lifts Sarah up in the air and slams her onto the ring floor. He jumps onto the ring ropes and attempts to elbow-slam Sarah, but misses.

"YOMP!" Sarah bites Jimmy's uniform and spins him around the ring before she releases him out of the ring and towards Kevin and the other three!

"Whoa!" Kevin, Nazz, Jonny, and Rolf barely dodge, but some of the silhouetted kids are crushed!

"YAGH!" Jimmy leaps back into the ring and stomps on a preening Sarah! Afterwards,

"Ooh! Agh! Ow!" From below, Eddy looks away laughing as Jimmy and Sarah continue to violently wrestle. Edd sits down next to him in shame, "Satisfied?"

"Ya better believe it, goody-goody!" Eddy asks, "Where are we now?"

"Twice as much as we acquired with our _honest_ ventures." Edd replies.

"Sweet." Eddy rubs his hands together.

WHAM! BAM! "RAGH!" "GAGH"! Jimmy and Sarah remain unseen to the viewer due to the escalating violence of their match and the focus is simply on a sadistic zany eye-circled Eddy and a frustrated Edd.

The following day at Eddy's house, the Eds are slurping on jawbreakers once more; Ed with three in his mouth, Edd with one, and Eddy himself with two. They also each have a sack of jawbreakers to replace the ones they lost.

"Relax, Double D! Didn't you read the script?" Eddy remarks. "For once, the Eds get the last laugh."

"And Ed gets the last leg!" Ed chomps on a gravy-covered chair-turkey leg despite already having three things in his mouth.

"Perhaps one day, you'll benefit from compassion rather than retribution." Edd sighs. "But in the meantime, explain how Sarah will refrain from seeking retribution herself. Many photos were taken during last night's spectacle and no doubt, the other children will gossip about it."

"Hmm." Eddy grins towards the viewer with a wicked smile.

* * *

Having been grounded for last night's spectacle, a battered, sore Sarah sits in her room with _everything_ taken out of it, much like what happened with Ed in **3 squares and an Ed**. As she looks out the window with zany eye-circles, she begins to growl and frown before she bellows in absolute rage,

"EEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"


End file.
